Zoolander/Red Riding Hood Films 3 & 4/50

First, a disclaimer. I've caught a cold and am treating it by curling up on my sofa watching movies. These two just happened to be the easiest to access.

That being said...let's start with Zoolander (2001).

Yes, I've not seen Zoolander until just now, finally bringing clarity to all the Zoolander references I've seen over the past ten years. I feel like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride (1991) when Martin Short laughs at him and states, "Welcome to the 90s, Mr. Bahnks!"

I won't go into great depth dissecting this film, as it is 1.) your standard Ben Stiller farce (although more in the vein of Tropic Thunder than Keeping the Faith) and 2.) likely that 99% of the country has probably already seen this film. I am proud to now be a member of the 99%. But I will tell you my two favorite scenes in the film. First, the gas fight at the beginning starring the phenomenal Alexander Skarsgård. Even though his character is written off less than 20 minutes into the film, this scene was well worth the price of admission (although in my case, the price of viewing was nothing, as I had borrowed the DVD from my neighbor). And second, the "walk-off" scene hosted by David Bowie. Have I ever told you that I love Bowie? Well, I love Bowie. And had anyone mentioned to me that there was a scene with Bowie in this movie, I would have seen it years ago.

So that brings us to Red Riding Hood (2011), which thanks to the folks at HBO was on for my viewing pleasure last night.

I'll be honest. This was not a movie I was "dying" to see. And having now seen it, I wouldn't say my life has been altered in any significant way. It is what it is. A werewolf-themed, horror-flick version of the Grimm Brothers' classic tale targeted largely at a teen audience. But it did have two elements that appealed to me: Gary Oldman and Lukas Haas. Put Gary Oldman in anything, and I'll watch it (much like David Bowie...must be a british thing). And I have loved Lukas Haas since I first saw him in Lady in White (1988), as the adorably lovable but haunted Frankie Scarlatti. (If you want to get technical, the first film I saw him in was Witness (1985)...but that was entirely by accident and left me emotionally scarred for life...I still hate going in public restrooms.) While most of his adult roles have left him cast as the tech geek or junky psychopath, this time he gets to play the part of the annoying religious freak. Not really a step in the right direction. Maybe someday he'll get cast in a decent role again. Will most likely require shaving.

That being said, Gary Oldman and Lukas Haas weren't really enough to make viewing this film worth it.  I spent most of the movie wondering how every character had developed such strength against the cold climate that they could wander freely through the snow in short sleeves and thin cotton. Not once did anyone look remotely chilled.

Well, I still have my cold. And The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is waiting for me to finish reading it already. Back to the sofa.