Underworld: Awakening (2012) Film 57/50

I would have thought Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman could have produced a better looking offspring than this. No?

So Underworld: Awakening. That's an hour and half of my life I'll never get back.

This movie was a waste of time. To give a lengthy review would be a further waste of my time. It was miraculous that they managed to convince Beckinsale to reprise her role. Speedman was smart to stay away (he must have read the script). And Stephen Rea...what was your excuse?

The plot in a nutshell: Kill Bill meets True Blood meets V for Vendetta but with horrible, horrible writing and blue tinting (I don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for the blue tinting). The writers fail to explain 1) how Beckinsale was able to produce a vampire-lycan hybrid (although the child is in actuality only a quarter lycan), 2) how the offspring could see through her mother's eyes since they were shut for her entire life to that point, and 3) how an 18-year old vampire-lycan hybrid could be grown over the span of 12 years.

This movie makes me want to purge.

For the record, Blue Lagoon: The Awakening was a gazillion times better than this movie. Even without the unplanned pregnancy plot that fans demand.