The Muppets (2011) Film 46/50

I watched this movie with my 3-year old niece today. It held her attention for about half of the film. She kept asking if the Walter muppet was Ernie. Clearly, I was the target demographic for this film. Not her.

As I was both "late to the game" and pleased in general with this film, I will keep this review brief. It was a sweet tribute to The Muppet Show (which I fondly recall as being the preferred method for determining my bedtime back when I was my niece's age). It had great references to both classic Muppet moments (from the show and various movies) and Sesame Street. It made nice use of cameos. It had some great jokes about movie gimmicks like using maps to illustrate change of location or that flowers in your suit pocket would probably get crushed after performing an impromptu song and dance routine.

Something Borrowed (2011) Film 45/50

Dialogue spoken during the scene pictured above:

KATE: What's this remind you of?
GINNIFER: Mmm...tastes like vanilla.
KATE: Uh-huh. Senior trip...
GINNIFER: Paris. That café!
KATE: Yeah!
GINNIFER: I love this coffee.
KATE: I loved that waiter. Remember?
TOGETHER: Jean-Luc!

No, wait. That's the dialogue from everyone's favorite General Foods International Coffees commercial. My bad. But for the record, that commercial is better than this movie. Want to know why? Read on.

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) Film 44/50

Would you believe me if I told you I had never seen Die Hard 2 before this morning? I know! Me Neither! But here we are.

Somehow I'd seen Die Hard and Die Hard: With a Vengeance AND Live Free or Die Hard but skipped over the second installment of this soon-to-be quintology (which may even turn into a sextology...assuming that is indeed the term for a series of six and not going to result in some very disappointed Google searches). It was thanks to a recent conversation regarding the theme of "Christmas" movies that brought this missing link to light for me. Someone mentioned it taking place at an airport, and since I had no recollection of seeing John McClane duke it out against terrorists under a plane, I felt the need to remedy this oversight on my part. And so concludes "The Story of My Life Prior to Seeing Die Hard 2."

Onward to the review.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy Book 13/50

I'm glad I read this before seeing the movie (and I still have yet to see it). Granted, this is pure speculation, but I don't think this book would be as entertaining/suspenseful had it followed the film. If I had known (for certain) who the mole was going into this, this book would probably not have held my interest for long.

So if you haven't seen the film, check this one out. I won't spoil anything on this one. Just know that most of the "action" takes place in flashbacks, which unfortunately takes much of the suspense out of those sequences. But there are some great characters being portrayed here: George Smiley, Jim Prideaux, and Karla.

I'll definitely check out the other George Smiley books...particularly the others from the Karla trilogy. As well as the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy movie (and the BBC miniseries with Alec Guinness if I can track it down).

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) Film 43/50

It's a Mission: Impossible movie. And as much as I don't want to watch a Tom Cruise film, I can't say no to the likes of J.J. Abrams, Brad Bird, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Josh Halloway, and the return of Cold War politics.

Unfortunately, I found it lacking. Sure, it had all the fun gadgets (particularly enjoyed the hallway screen scene and the facial recognition contact lens), but it was missing the super-psycho bad guy that we had with Philip Seymour Hoffman in the third installment. Don't get me wrong. Michael Nyqvist was far more impressive in this film than I found him in the Dragon Tattoo series. But he just wasn't as deliciously scary. And after enjoying Hoffman's performance in M:i:III, this was a bit of a let down.

Return to the Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

Be warned, this is not my typical post. I am not reviewing a book or a movie. Instead, I am reviewing the traffic that my Blue Lagoon: The Awakening review has received, and the search threads that have lead to said traffic. The same is true for my sister's review. Clearly, this film has touched the lives of many, leaving the majority of viewers with unanswered questions. Many, many questions. Disturbing questions.

Please allow me to address each of these questions for you those of you still scratching your heads over a week later.

Onward to the search keywords!

Brave (2012) Film 42/50

Meet Merida. The newest Disney princess. She's got amazing red hair and a fiery personality to match. Unfortunately, she stars in a film called Brave that has more to do with the concept of fate than bravery. Had this movie been titled Fate instead, this might have been a very different review.

Beautiful Boy (2010) Film 41/50

I didn't love this movie. But I also didn't hate it. I simply felt like a voyeur, nosing my way into the private and personal grief of these mourning parents.

This film reminded me of Rabbit Hole. But with a school shooting instead of a car accident. And instead of dealing solely with the loss of their son, the parents find themselves burdened by the facts surrounding their son's death: he was the shooter responsible for the deaths of several faculty and students.

I won't go into great detail with this review. Not because I don't want to "spoil" anything for you, but rather because I felt no emotional connection with the main characters or the plot. If anything, I just wanted to give these two their privacy. I would have turned the movie off, but I'm a fan of Michael Sheen and didn't want to give up on his performance.

Shark Night 3D (2011) Film 40/50

I admit it. I have a problem. I can't not watch a movie with "shark" in its title. I just can't. Is there a support group for people like me?

And this one was a gem, too. Please don't mistake me. It's a horrible, horrible movie. In the grand scheme of shark movies, it is definitely no Jaws. But it's not as horrendous as the direct-to-video masterpiece Raging Sharks, starring the delightful Corin Nemec AND Corbin Bernsen. Yes, I watched that movie. I told you I had a problem. I've also seen Shark Attack with Casper Van Dien. And of course, there's Deep Blue Sea (which I will watch every time I come across it while channel surfing...thank you, TNT). But Shark Night doesn't hold a candle to Deep Blue Sea. How could it? The biggest name Shark Night could manage was Donal Logue. You are NO Thomas Jane, Donal Logue.

But this film certainly puts a new spin on the "shark movie" genre. I almost don't want to spoil it for you, it's that unique. But the movie's so bad, I'm going to. Consider that your spoiler warning for the day. Let us continue.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Film 39/50

The only thing more impressive than Chris Evans' abs in this movie are his pecs.

Seriously. Were those CGI? If so, they were FAR more convincing than the hack job done stitching Evans' head to a 90 pound body. I'm pretty sure his head appeared at least three different sizes in comparison to his torso/surroundings in the car ride to Brooklyn scene alone.

But honestly, I enjoyed this film for what it was: an introduction to Captain America and a set up for The Avengers. And now that I've finally managed the living room screenings of both Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor, I feel properly prepared to see The Avengers in the theatre.