28 June 2012

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Film 43/50

movie still where sawyer tries to escape from freckles the assassin

It's a Mission: Impossible movie. And as much as I don't want to watch a Tom Cruise film, I can't say no to the likes of J.J. Abrams, Brad Bird, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Josh Halloway, and the return of Cold War politics.

Unfortunately, I found it lacking. Sure, it had all the fun gadgets (particularly enjoyed the hallway screen scene and the facial recognition contact lens), but it was missing the super-psycho bad guy that we had with Philip Seymour Hoffman in the third installment. Don't get me wrong. Michael Nyqvist was far more impressive in this film than I found him in the Dragon Tattoo series. But he just wasn't as deliciously scary. And after enjoying Hoffman's performance in M:i:III, this was a bit of a let down.

24 June 2012

Return to the Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

movie still where brenton thwaites wonders how long he has to stand there with his shirt off before someone asks him to take his pants off too
Be warned, this is not my typical post. I am not reviewing a book or a movie. Instead, I am reviewing the traffic that my Blue Lagoon: The Awakening review has received, and the search threads that have lead to said traffic. The same is true for my sister's review. Clearly, this film has touched the lives of many, leaving the majority of viewers with unanswered questions. Many, many questions. Disturbing questions.

Please allow me to address each of these questions for you those of you still scratching your heads over a week later.

Onward to the search keywords!

Brave (2012)
Film 42/50

animation frame where merida shoots an arrow...bravely?

Meet Merida. The newest Disney princess. She's got amazing red hair and a fiery personality to match. Unfortunately, she stars in a film called Brave that has more to do with the concept of fate than bravery. Had this movie been titled Fate instead, this might have been a very different review.

Beautiful Boy (2010)
Film 41/50

movie still where michael sheen gets really sad looking

I didn't love this movie. But I also didn't hate it. I simply felt like a voyeur, nosing my way into the private and personal grief of these mourning parents.

This film reminded me of Rabbit Hole. But with a school shooting instead of a car accident. And instead of dealing solely with the loss of their son, the parents find themselves burdened by the facts surrounding their son's death: he was the shooter responsible for the deaths of several faculty and students.

I won't go into great detail with this review. Not because I don't want to "spoil" anything for you, but rather because I felt no emotional connection with the main characters or the plot. If anything, I just wanted to give these two their privacy. I would have turned the movie off, but I'm a fan of Michael Sheen and didn't want to give up on his performance.

22 June 2012

Shark Night 3D (2011)
Film 40/50

movie still of cast before the sharks arrive

I admit it. I have a problem. I can't not watch a movie with "shark" in its title. I just can't. Is there a support group for people like me?

And this one was a gem, too. Please don't mistake me. It's a horrible, horrible movie. In the grand scheme of shark movies, it is definitely no Jaws. But it's not as horrendous as the direct-to-video masterpiece Raging Sharks, starring the delightful Corin Nemec AND Corbin Bernsen. Yes, I watched that movie. I told you I had a problem. I've also seen Shark Attack with Casper Van Dien. And of course, there's Deep Blue Sea (which I will watch every time I come across it while channel surfing...thank you, TNT). But Shark Night doesn't hold a candle to Deep Blue Sea. How could it? The biggest name Shark Night could manage was Donal Logue. You are NO Thomas Jane, Donal Logue.

But this film certainly puts a new spin on the "shark movie" genre. I almost don't want to spoil it for you, it's that unique. But the movie's so bad, I'm going to. Consider that your spoiler warning for the day. Let us continue.

20 June 2012

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Film 39/50

montage of movie still abs...yummy

The only thing more impressive than Chris Evans' abs in this movie are his pecs.

Seriously. Were those CGI? If so, they were FAR more convincing than the hack job done stitching Evans' head to a 90 pound body. I'm pretty sure his head appeared at least three different sizes in comparison to his torso/surroundings in the car ride to Brooklyn scene alone.

But honestly, I enjoyed this film for what it was: an introduction to Captain America and a set up for The Avengers. And now that I've finally managed the living room screenings of both Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor, I feel properly prepared to see The Avengers in the theatre.

The Psychopath Test
Book 12/50

the psychopath text book cover
A few weeks ago, my sister's fiancé posted this video about Lord of the Flies, in which he discusses sociopaths/psychopaths as one of the vocabulary terms connected to Golding's novel. In this video, he recommends Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test to individuals interested in learning more. "It's a really entertaining read; it's not very long...and you should totally check it out. It's very much worth reading." I was instantly sold.

For the record, he was 100% accurate in his description of the book. So thank you very much, Tim Calvin, for both recommending and lending to me this book.

And I couldn't put it down. Ronson is a master of anecdotal humor. His chapters are informative and entertaining, providing readers with insight into society's fascination with psychiatry and mental illness.

17 June 2012

Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (2012)

movie still where denise richards doesn't get nearly angry enough at her daughter's teachers...seriously

First, a disclaimer: I am NOT including this film among my 50/50 collection. This film was watched and reviewed PURELY for the benefit and entertainment of one Lauren Elizabeth Fidler. I can only hope that others will benefit/be entertained as well. But I make no guarantees. It is a Lifetime for Women made-for-TV movie.

On to the review. Be warned, there are spoilers. If you care.

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
Film 38/50

movie still where chalize theron reads the fine print in her contract

I wanted this movie to be worse/funnier than it was. This review would be longer that way. Instead, you get this:

I went into the theatre with the full intent of rooting for Charlize Theron to take out Kristen Stewart (and for about a third of the film that was the case). But by the end, I was just hoping Chris Hemsworth would just take an axe to the lot of them. Then, he and I could ride off into the sunset and drink lots and lots of mead together. Now that would have been a great movie!

15 June 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey
Book 11/50

fifty shades of grey book cover
I don't know what you're all talking about...this book is tame.

Just kidding! For the record, I'm nowhere near being done with it yet.

So I've decided to run this review a bit differently than my past ones. Instead of waiting until I've completed reading the book, I'm going to review it in stages. As I start this post, I am currently on page 70. I should also probably warn you that this book is far from tame, and as such, my review of it may also be less than conservative.

Consider yourself warned.

Now on to the journey that is Fifty Shades of Grey...

09 June 2012

Thor (2011)
Film 37/50

movie still of thor and thor's brother (aka..."the one that isn't thor")

So...Thor. He's the blond one in this photo, just in case you couldn't guess.

For those of you who have read my posts in the past, yes. I'm going into full detail with this one. If you don't want the spoilers, stop reading here. Otherwise, click on the "read more" link below.

Now, let us commence. I'm taking a hammer to this one.

05 June 2012

The Descendants (2011)
Film 36/50

movie still with george clooney peeking over some lawn

Yes, I've lost a little momentum with my movie screenings. I blame my thesis project. Sick of hearing that old chestnut yet? Yeah, me too.

But I finally got around to seeing The Descendants. I knew going into it that this was not going to be a happy-go-lucky-sort-of-film. And if you don't know that going into it, you will most likely find yourself severely disappointed in this film. Be prepared for some seriously serious drama.